“It’s the most wonderful time of the year!” so the song lyrics go, however the idea that you must be having ‘wonderful time’ can create a lot of added pressure and stress. If this is your experience I suggest easing off this year, aim for enjoyable and anything extra is a bonus!
My philosophy is that to show up as your best self for others you need to look after your own wellbeing first. Here are some ways to stay centred and calm over the festivities:
1. Many cultures and religions have festivals at this time of year. In the Northern Hemisphere this is the darkest part of the year. Whenever you switch on Christmas tree lights, or place candles on the dinner table, you are connecting with the time-honoured tradition of bringing light into the dark winter nights. By focussing on this custom you can create mindful moments of calm appreciation.
2. Develop a regular gratitude practice. Your festivities aren't likely to be perfect, but every day there will be something you can be thankful for. Name at least three things you can be grateful for at the end of each day so that you go to sleep with your mind focused on the positive.
3. Pace yourself! If you are a natural introvert you'll probably feel overwhelmed and drained if you are in company all the time, even with those you love. Balance the time spent together with some quiet time alone to recharge your energy. I know my own energy is better served when I give myself some solitary space every day, festive or not!
4. On the same note you could try introducing a new quiet, calm tradition. For example in our family we have taken up the Icelandic custom of book swapping on Christmas Eve. My daughter works in a library and she came across this idea a few years ago. We all love it. We gift each other a book, light the candles and spend the evening cosily reading and eating the odd chocolate; that's my kind of bliss!
5. Find what works for you! Maybe you have some favourite Christmas carols and can make a playlist that lifts your spirits. Perhaps you'll set up a jigsaw puzzle table so that you can be quietly absorbed whilst still being companionable. You might take some time out to go for a walk, step outside for some fresh air, or do a favourite visualisation.
6. This season is often focussed on the feasting. Whilst this is a midwinter tradition, I personally find huge dinners leave me feeling bloated and lethargic. What I do love are the fantastic winter veg options, with sprouts and chestnuts being a highlight of the season. I also make a big batch of braised red cabbage with apple and nutmeg a few days in advance. It keeps well if chilled and reheats perfectly in a pan. I portion up some to go in the freezer too. By preparing a good range of colourful winter veg I serve a meal that includes plenty of nourishment and still keeps its festive vibe. We long ago decided to save Christmas pudding for a different day - cramming in a portion of desert when you are already full doesn't do it justice.
7. Keep a stock of non-alcoholic festive drinks. Alcohol in moderation isn’t a big issue for a lot of people and raising a ‘glass of good cheer’ is traditional, but for those who don’t drink, or for those who are driving, it’s great to be offered a glass of something alcohol free and tasty to join in the festive spirit. It’s also well known that alcohol can disrupt your sleep pattern and no one enjoys cooking the Christmas dinner with a hangover! Alternating your beverages with non-alcoholic ones can be a really smart move. Why not try adding mulled wine spices to a bottle of no- or low-alcohol wine for a festive glass?
8. Make sure the responsibility for other people's fun isn’t all on your shoulders! Remember you are allowed to ask for help if you are busy or have your hands full. Some people don’t like to interfere, but are really happy to lend a hand if you ask. Have a list of roles they can take on, such as laying the table, peeling veg, or washing the dishes, or promote someone to entertainments manager!
9. Bathe! Taking a shower or a bath is one way to release stress and a nurturing way to get some time to yourself. I love to dissolve a few handfuls of Epsom salts or dead sea salts into my bathwater, I light some candles and turn the lights down low for a mellow bathing experience. I might put some music on, grab a book, or just enjoy the peace and quiet.
10. Last, but not least, remember to breathe! If the festive pressure is all getting a bit much take a few minutes out just to breathe. This is so simple that we forget how effective this can be. Five minutes of slow, deep breathing can take your physiology out of ‘fight or flight’ mode and into ‘rest and digest’ mode. It’s one of the quickest ways to recentre your energy and restore inner calm. I like to take a deep in-breath through my nose and breathe out a longer out-breath through my mouth, I feel like I am blowing out stress and tension on the out-breath and bringing fresh energy in on the in-breath.
Final thought - whether you are celebrating the Solstice, Christmas, or another Midwinter festival, remember real purpose of these holidays. They aren't really about the trappings, the food, the gift giving, or the decorations, at their heart there is a spiritual message of light and hope that helps to sustain us through the darkest part of the year.
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